The Gap

No, I'm not talking about The "slightly overpriced clothes that look good with your more interesting clothes" Gap, younger sister of "unethical labor is practically in our name!" Banana Republic, and older sister of "god's gift to mass fashion" Old Navy. I'm talking about the gap caused by ultra-ultra-low waistbands paired with short shirts.

This is one of the most democratic of all fashion trends. Don't have a great body? No problem! Stick it out there for all to see! While I'm all for embracing your body, and everyone else embracing their bodies, and everyone else showing me their midriff if they really feel the need to, I'm firmly against being cold.


Exhibit A: In the current Old Navy marketing email, a young woman sports some sort of a warm sweatshirt garment that stops above her belly button. Pants haven't been above the bellybutton since I was in middle school- they now stop somewhere in between "R" and "X" ratings, as these khaki numbers exemplify. The girl is forced to cover her midriff against the icy winter winds with some sort of clearly-not-as- warm-as-the- mint-sweatshirt-garment white thing. Also, she totally has some muffin top going on there.

Meanwhile, the boy gazes confidently at the camera with his midriff warmly covered, as if to say, "Come a long way since the corset and the hoop skirt, eh?"

Seriously, world of fashion: there are some things we need in our clothing. (I used to just be speaking for the poor 20-somethings forced to dress up as schoolteachers, but now, it's beyond appropriateness.) Number one: midriffs. Number two: pockets. Get on it.