blog?

I haven't been inspired to update much lately, mostly because I thought my litany of complaints about my downstairs neighbors would be boring (to anyone but me.) Note to landlords: red flags in potential tenants include guitar(s), dog(s), 50-inch TV(s), having frequent overnight guests, and the emptying of more beer bottles per week than can fit in a large, building-sized rolling recycling bin. All of the above means that maybe you shouldn't rent to these people outside of their designated ghetto (campustown)!

I coerced my pansy landlord into meeting with me and the offenders last week. One of them, a big, fat, fratboy-type asshat, seemed particularly aggressive towards me, and I actually think he might not be capable of being quiet. His walking shakes the house, when he shuts doors, splinters fly, and his voice could project to all corners of a superdome. The others? Probably physically capable of being quiet, but don't want to. They agreed to keep it down after 10:30 on weeknights and midnight on weekends. Last night, Charles and I got back from a wedding just before 12. They were watching a black and white movie which was not even audible from my bedroom. At 12, they turned their music ON. Charles picked up his stuff and drove back to Champaign. Fifteen minutes later, the music had switched to (less offensive) talk TV. Folks, if you're going to have loud neighbors, at least hope they're not ADHD so you have time to call the cops before they switch to another asshole activity.

At the wedding I checked with a lawyer about justifiable homicide, and it turns out that nothing counts except self-defense. Damn. My best hope is that someone will realize their doors are unlocked 24/7 and steal their 50-inch TV. My second best hope is somehow figuring out how to pipe sedative gas through the ventilation ducts.