construction

Our landlord is a complete fuckup. Well, that's not exactly true. He's more of a 10% fuckup. By that, I don't mean that I would give him 90% on any of the jobs he does- I just mean that he never actually finishes any job.

For instance, there are gutters on the house, but no downspouts. This has been the case since well before we moved in, and as a result, the rain pours onto the newly constructed front porch steps, and has already cracked a board from keeping it so wet. There is also a pile of rusty gutters in the yard, which, according to the neighbors, have been there for TEN YEARS.

Of course, the landlord promised to finish installing the downspouts (and trash the old gutters) before we moved in. But only because we made him promise. And he never delivered, and now he never will. His original excuse was that the weather was too cold for gutter glue to set, but a summer went by since then? And nothing happened.

Case #2 is the groundhog holes. He patched the ones in the front, but not the back. Guess how much good it does you to patch SOME of the groundhog holes? Exactly as much good as patching none. That was more of a 30% done/ 60% not done job.

Case #3 would be the front porch. He disassembled it to patch the groundhog holes, and put back most of the boards, and some of the screws.

Case #4... oh, case #4. For unknown reasons, he decided that instead of using the back porch trap door to access stairs to the basement like everyone else on the block, he wanted direct access, so he used up half the yard digging A GIGANTIC TRENCH to the basement level. Nothing was actually DONE to this trench, mind you, in the way of landscaping, keeping it from caving in, keeping people from falling into it, keeping poison ivy from growing in it...

He used the newly found space on the back porch to install a washer and dryer, which was great until they froze because they involved uninsulated water pipes in an unheated room attached to a rarely used appliance. Go figure.

Meanwhile, the groundhogs, attracted by the dirt entry to a nice cozy basement, undermined the very foundations of the house with their digging. Then ten years passed.

Finally, last week, the landlord found a (most likely undocumented) Guatemalan immigrant to correct the problem- and by "correct the problem" I mean attempt, thousands of dollars later, to restore the basement entry to the trapdoor, rebuild the wall of the foundation that had been knocked down, and (presumably someday) refill the trench. Although considering that refilling the trench would probably be characterized as the last 10% of the job, I don't think it will happen until the natural forces of nature accomplish it, several hundred years in the future. In other words, the goal was to undo everything he had done to the house in the past.

The Guatemalan worker, dogged by the landlord who did not actually do any work, has now rebuilt the foundation wall. But there is no staircase. And now he has been gone for a week.

I think it's about 70% done.